But, good news, as compensation to myself, this gives me a chance to share the 'Daredevil' script that I slapped together a few years ago. Jameson used to do (or still do) a "Done in 60 Seconds" competition (any film you want, remade as a 60 second short film), which I entered one year, and had every intention of entering the following year - except they seemed to have borked the entry criteria or some sh*t that year, and it was just frustrating enough, I emailed them a few times but they never got back to me, so it kind killed my enthusiasm.
What it didn't kill was the fact that in preparation I had already written a few poorly-formatted scripts, one of which was for the Ben Affleck-starring "Daredevil", the script I'll share with you now.
So, I can't watch 'Daredevil' on Netflix, but I do have this substitute that will just have to do me until regular internet access is restored:
Matt Murdock Voice-Over:
"When I was 12 years old, I lost my sight but I got something back in return. My remaining 4 sense functioned with superhuman sharpness...."
[Cut To: Matt Murdock walks quickly through a corridor, a smug yet knowing grin on his face as he sweeps his blind-man's cane left and right. He moves so quickly that he knocks people out of his way, hardly noticing they were there at all.]
[Cut To: A busy city street, Matt is standing, waiting to cross a road. A man reading a paper walks by him, Matt raises his hand to stop him but too late. The sound of a newspaper fluttering is just audible over the sound of metal on bone.]
Matt: "That sounded bad."
[A woman appears behind him, walks into his still outstretched arm, spilling her coffee on them both]
[Cut To: A quiet park, a quiet breeze brushes Matt Murdock's face while he is looking forward, he raises his right hand to catch something. A Frisbee flies in from the left side and hits his face.] "OOOOooowwwww! Stupid super-sensitive superhuman touch!"
Matt VO: "Awareness of danger is one thing, but my reaction time and reflexes haven't ever fully caught up."
[Cut To: Interior, A Courtroom. Day
Matt Murdock is facing the wrong way, away from the judge.]
Matt: "Your honour, all the evidence we need to put this man away is in these files."
[He tosses the files forward into the face of some random woman sitting in the court. She screams.]
Matt: "Shocking, I know!"
[Cut To: Interior, A busy bar. Night.]
Matt: [Standing in a homemade Daredevil outfit, it's badly sewed & ill-fitting; obviously looking like a blind man put it together.] "The courts might have let you off, but I won't!"
[He lunges just to the right of his target. His target doesn't flinch.]
Matt: "D*mn, I thought I smelled him right here!"
[He proceeds to stand and flail his arms and body around in a random undirected fury, hoping to accidentally strike something.]
[Cut To: Exterior, rooftop. Night. Bullseye, with the strongest, most Oirish accent you could ever want on a villain]
"Oi'm goin' ta hit ya, my aul' bucko! DEAD centre!"
Matt: "You can't hit what you can't see!" [He winks knowingly, enjoying his pun for a few moments, then dodges left and runs immediately into a wall]
[Cut To: Interior, Kingpin's office. Day.]
Kingpin: "This ends now!"
Matt: "You end now!" [He lunges forward and trips, knocking over some stuff, gets his foot caught in a chair. He tried to jump Kingpin's desk, fail. Startled security men enter after hearing the noise.]
Security: "Is everything ok, sir?" [Spots the unconscious blind man in patchwork clothing on the floor. Looks back at Kingpin]
[Cut To: Exterior, Kingpins office. Kingpin is in handcuffs, being push into the back of a police van]
Police: "You’re going away for a long time. He might be disabled, but it's still a crime to beat him up."