Wednesday, 25 December 2013

'A Kind of Christmas Carol'

So I asked each of the 3 ghosts who visited me last night, "if you really wanted me to be a better person why didn't you intervene before now? Maybe before things got bad..."
They each shuffled their feet & stared idly at their toes.
"But we're offering you a chance to change your ways?" Present offered.
"Remember the good man you used to be!" Said Past.
Yet-To-Come said nothing and pointed at the other two.
"Wonderful contribution!" I barked at him.
"Now you 3 have woken me up, had me wandering about time at all hours of the morning, in my PJs!"
"Look into your heart!" Past began.
"Look into me hole, more like!" I exclaimed, "So you can't change the past, Past, but your expect me to believe that you can change the future? A future that you've already shown me exists? You'd want to consult your 'Rules for Time-Travelling' manual, because this makes no sense."
They all slowly stepped towards the front door.
"And if you see that Jacob Marley again, tell him to quit being so melodramatic with that 'chains he forged in life' B.S."
They opened the front door, from which a bright life shone. Past tripped a little on the step out, I was a bigger man & only laughed on the inside. Present left next, as the ghost of Christmas Yet-To-Come walked out he turned, extended a single middle finger in my direction and disappeared into the light.
Then the world outside my house reappeared. A quiet world, a silence broken only by the sound of footsteps as a young boy passed by my front door.
"You there," I called to him "What day is this?"
"Why, sir, it's Christmas Day!" He brightly replied.
"And do you think that the police do not work on Christmas day?"
He hesitated to reply, as he made to speak I interrupted. "Get out of my front garden, boy!"
He run off.
If I could just get some sleep, I'd be a happier person.
So for those of you who didn't wake me last night:
MERRY FREAKiN' CHRiSTMAS!