Tuesday, February 11, 2014
So uncaring are they that they've evolved away from a mechanism of even sarcastically shedding tears.
That on top of their weird shaped pupils that they use to taunt anyone who locks eye-contact with them, even for a playful 'staring contest', makes them pretty much the most emotionally distant of all the farm animals.
Anyway, I don't think that's the part 'goat life' that this simulator aims to replicate, but I thought people needed to know.
Anyway, the people over at Coffee Stain Studios made 'Goat Simulator':
Do with that information what you will!
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
[Author's note: At the time of writing this it's unclear if the 'k' in 'Neknominate' & 'RAKnominate' is silent, like in 'know']
As well-intentioned as "RAKnominations" are, the fact that people need a hashtag or catchy name to do something nice is every bit my fundamental problem with social media.
Don't video/ photo yourself as if being a decent person is supposed to be peculiar.
Fair play if you do something nice, but do it to feel like a better person, not as an exercise in attention seeking & self-promotion, who cares knows or if you've tagged your friends & then eye have to emulate you or break the chain.
Do something nice to be nice, not for some sort of social validation, do it for yourself, & don't go around videoing it/ taking photos of other people/ yourself to earn ego-points.
"A good deed is it's own reward", not a means to earn popularity.
More importantly, while it might seem like fun to challenge friends to read an entire page from the Necronomicom & post a video of it on Facebook, people need to know that every word spoken unsettles the slumber of the old gods.
These Necronomicnominations have to stop before all of our souls are swallowed & banished to some dark ethereal plain where their astral forms are worn away beneath the ever advancing footsteps of the some ancient terror, writings of which extend beyond antiquity & sanity.
Saturday, February 1, 2014
These Necronomicnominations have to stop before all of our souls are swallowed & banished to some dark ethereal plain where their astral forms are worn away beneath the ever advancing footsteps of the old gods.
Friday, January 31, 2014
Backwards Spearman: holds disused umbrella at 90° off body, point aiming backwards, swings arm back/ forward walking.
Lazy Épée: Held forwards, at a slightly downwards angle, any part of anyone in the way is a potential target.
Lost Gondolier: Stabs path ahead w/ point of umbrella, holds it in that spot until walked far enough ahead to need to lift.
Fast-drawn Fanned-out Flintlock: Short umbrella, automatic opening, held at side, finger poised near release trigger.
Penguin's Shotgun: Held upwards across body, handle in one hand, other hand halfway up umbrella.
Sh*thead with an Umbrella: Anyone with an open golf/ oversized umbrella (especially when walking alone)
Friday, January 24, 2014
|Battlefield 2: Modern Combat|
|Broken Sword: The Sleeping Dragon|
|Call of Duty 3|
|Crimson Skies: High Road to Revenge|
|Deus Ex: Invisible War|
|Dreamfall: The Longest Journey|
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
But, in the face of overwhelming silliness, why not embrace it?!
Wednesday, December 25, 2013
So I asked each of the 3 ghosts who visited me last night, "if you really wanted me to be a better person why didn't you intervene before now? Maybe before things got bad..."
They each shuffled their feet & stared idly at their toes.
"But we're offering you a chance to change your ways?" Present offered.
"Remember the good man you used to be!" Said Past.
Yet-To-Come said nothing and pointed at the other two.
"Wonderful contribution!" I barked at him.
"Now you 3 have woken me up, had me wandering about time at all hours of the morning, in my PJs!"
"Look into your heart!" Past began.
"Look into me hole, more like!" I exclaimed, "So you can't change the past, Past, but your expect me to believe that you can change the future? A future that you've already shown me exists? You'd want to consult your 'Rules for Time-Travelling' manual, because this makes no sense."
They all slowly stepped towards the front door.
"And if you see that Jacob Marley again, tell him to quit being so melodramatic with that 'chains he forged in life' B.S."
They opened the front door, from which a bright life shone. Past tripped a little on the step out, I was a bigger man & only laughed on the inside. Present left next, as the ghost of Christmas Yet-To-Come walked out he turned, extended a single middle finger in my direction and disappeared into the light.
Then the world outside my house reappeared. A quiet world, a silence broken only by the sound of footsteps as a young boy passed by my front door.
"You there," I called to him "What day is this?"
"Why, sir, it's Christmas Day!" He brightly replied.
"And do you think that the police do not work on Christmas day?"
He hesitated to reply, as he made to speak I interrupted. "Get out of my front garden, boy!"
He run off.
If I could just get some sleep, I'd be a happier person.
So for those of you who didn't wake me last night:
MERRY FREAKiN' CHRiSTMAS!