Thursday, February 26, 2015

Dave After Dark.. '50 Shades of Things'

If I had to sum up, in one word, the reason why I was never the E.L. James of my day, with a '50 Shades of Grey' rags-to-slightly-less-soiled-rags story to tell, it's this: Society.
Society never nurtured my brand of poorly written fan fiction. Maybe it just wasn't ready.
And society never latched onto 'CSI: Miami' as a viable source from which to spin-off a successful series of erotic novels.
Sure, maybe I peaked too soon, and maybe it was a poor choice of subject matter to begin with, but the same way that society can build you up it can also break you down.
And so I point my finger squarely at society.

E.L. James had the soft embrace of a fan fiction site, and I had short form posts on Bebo - back when Bebo was the social network to be on. Remember Bebo, society?
But let's be honest, maybe she just had a stronger determination than me, she had to if she could go to FanFiction.net and somehow get past the plethora of stories under the Minesweeper fan-fiction tag long enough to write anything else.
Sometimes I still can't wrap my head around that fact that people sit down and write Minesweeper fan fiction!
So, if I had to sum up, in THREE, words why I am not/ was never a household name in the erotic literature genre, it'd be these: Minsweeper fan fiction.

Anyway, in my way I did for 'CSI: Miami' what E.L. James did for 'Twilight', but who gets acclaim?
Who has publishers beating down doors?
And has questionably hygienic copies of their book flooding libraries and secondhand littering bookshops?
Not me, that's for sure. I've had zero measurable positive/ negative impact on the erotic literature genre.

Monday, December 22, 2014

Advent Calendar, Day 22

Christmas time: When every trip to any shop is a microcosm of every terrible shopping experience.

Sunday, December 21, 2014

Advent Calendar, Day 21

Advent Calendar, Day 20

Advent Calendar, Day 20 was late... but it was just more 'Fairytale of New York', and we should all be sick of that sh*t by now.

Friday, December 19, 2014

Advent Calendar, Day 19

"The *ssh*le's Ultimate Deflection."

Thursday, December 18, 2014

Advent Calendar, Day 18

"Yes, you can lecture me on 'the ultimate Christmas movie' but my eyes may involuntarily roll into the back of my head."

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Advent Calendar, Day 17

That "I'm not THAT guy" guy