Thursday, April 17, 2014

"Julius Caesar" [Extract from draft by Quentin Tarantino]

Soothsayer:  Caesar!  
CAESAR:  Ha! who calls?  
CASCA:  Bid every noise be still: peace yet again!  
CAESAR:  Who is it in the press that calls on me?   
  I hear a tongue, shriller than all the music,
  Cry "Caesar!" Speak; Caesar is turn'd to hear.  
Soothsayer:  Beware the ides of March.  
CAESAR:  What man is that?  
BRUTUS:  A soothsayer bids you beware the ides of March.  
CAESAR:  Set him before me; let me see his face. 
CASSIUS:  Fellow, come from the throng; look upon Caesar.  
CAESAR:  What say'st thou to me now? Say-sooth again! Say! Sooth! again! I dare you! I double-dare you, motherfucker! Say sooth one more goddamn time!  
Soothsayer  Beware the ides of March.  
CAESAR:  He is a dreamer; let us leave him: I'd knock that shit off if I was you.  
  [Sennet. Exeunt all except BRUTUS and CASSIUS.]

Monday, March 24, 2014

"Captain America: The Winter Soldier" [no spoilers]

I went to the cinema tonight and, straight away, I'm planting my flag in this one, "Captain America: The Winter Soldier" could possibly be my favourite Marvel Cinematic Universe film (objectively it could also be one of the best).
And not just as a "single Marvel character film", as a sneaky way to have to avoid comparison with the darling on the Marvel Universe "Avengers Assemble". This film holds up so d*mn well as a strong comic book film - with only a few characters - that it makes some films (*ahem* 'Thor' *cough* 'Thor 2' *sigh* 'Iron Man 2' *burp*) look like simpering fan service, while making "Avengers" look almost restrained.
So, yeah, see "The Winter Soldier".

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

'Goat Simulator'

Did you know that goats don't have tear ducts?
So uncaring are they that they've evolved away from a mechanism of even sarcastically shedding tears.
That on top of their weird shaped pupils that they use to taunt anyone who locks eye-contact with them, even for a playful 'staring contest', makes them pretty much the most emotionally distant of all the farm animals.

Anyway, I don't think that's the part 'goat life' that this simulator aims to replicate, but I thought people needed to know.

Anyway, the people over at Coffee Stain Studios made 'Goat Simulator':

Do with that information what you will!

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

'Neknominate' & 'RAKnominate' & the ill-fated practice of 'Necronomicnomination'

[Author's note: At the time of writing this it's unclear if the 'k' in 'Neknominate' & 'RAKnominate' is silent, like in 'know']

As well-intentioned as "RAKnominations" are, the fact that people need a hashtag or catchy name to do something nice is every bit my fundamental problem with social media.
Don't video/ photo yourself as if being a decent person is supposed to be peculiar.
Fair play if you do something nice, but do it to feel like a better person, not as an exercise in attention seeking & self-promotion, who cares knows or if you've tagged your friends & then eye have to emulate you or break the chain.
Do something nice to be nice, not for some sort of social validation, do it for yourself, & don't go around videoing it/ taking photos of other people/ yourself to earn ego-points.
"A good deed is it's own reward", not a means to earn popularity.

More importantly, while it might seem like fun to challenge friends to read an entire page from the Necronomicom & post a video of it on Facebook, people need to know that every word spoken unsettles the slumber of the old gods.
These Necronomicnominations have to stop before all of our souls are swallowed & banished to some dark ethereal plain where their astral forms are worn away beneath the ever advancing footsteps of the some ancient terror, writings of which extend beyond antiquity & sanity.

Friday, January 31, 2014

Umbrella Stances

Backwards Spearman: holds disused umbrella at 90° off body, point aiming backwards, swings arm back/ forward walking.

Lazy Épée: Held forwards, at a slightly downwards angle, any part of anyone in the way is a potential target.

Lost Gondolier: Stabs path ahead w/ point of umbrella, holds it in that spot until walked far enough ahead to need to lift.

Fast-drawn Fanned-out Flintlock: Short umbrella, automatic opening, held at side, finger poised near release trigger.

Penguin's Shotgun: Held upwards across body, handle in one hand, other hand halfway up umbrella.

Sh*thead with an Umbrella: Anyone with an open golf/ oversized umbrella (especially when walking alone)

Friday, January 24, 2014

(Original) XBox, PS2 & Gamecube games to clear...

If anyone wants any of these, let me know and we'll see what we can work out. And before anyone thinks of doing any hard bargaining, haggling, or just stopping by to say "these are sh*t!", know this, I'm well aware of how much sh*t there is in these lists:

(Original) Xbox
Battlefield 2: Modern Combat
Broken Sword: The Sleeping Dragon
Burnout Revenge
Call of Duty 3
Crimson Skies: High Road to Revenge
Deus Ex: Invisible War
Doom 3
Dreamfall: The Longest Journey

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

BBC's 'Sherlock' - Season 4 and beyond... [no spoilers in this post]

What I can only call "a very disappointing" season of 'Sherlock' (season 3) has just finished on the BBC. For want of a better summary, it's all gotten a bit silly.

But, in the face of overwhelming silliness, why not embrace it?!